Monday, 14 August 2017

The newest epic read, or listen?

I laughed out loud so much during her read.
People in the gym would stop me just to ask what had me laughing and grinning so much. 

Today, I finished my car.
That has significance as the last chapter goes.
That last chapter was titled The Robots Will Kill Us All: A Conclusion.

It's both funny and sad, because everything she said was true.
This article from Acculturated sums that chapter up perfectly, with great excerpts.

It hit me deep, maybe because we have been enjoying unplugging so much.
Perhaps, it's all the ugliness that I see on social media lately.
I find myself logging out of apps that used to be constantly turned on with notifications popping up all day which I eagerly checked. All. Day. Long.
Not so much anymore.

It's bad enough that I am chained to a job that I hate through the phone, texts, and emails where they can find me 24/7. My body goes into anxiety and panic mode each time that flat rectangle vibrates. The past few weeks, I fight back the urge to vomit.
Well, yes, this is an indication that I probably need to cut it.
After almost 26 years, I am completely fried.
Why don't I?
It's the part of me that's grateful. As, I've spouted so many times before: I get to work from home. I don't have to battle a commute. 
Just as I was typing that, the haunting vibration just happened, and yet, another email arrived changing how they want things done for the ump-teenth time in the past two weeks.
I'm too old to have things change every seven days, or so, and have to redo work, over, and over, and over, and over...

I am longing for other loves.
To live life.
I'm tired of being stuck behind this screen on my ass, until it becomes numb, hurting because everything is 'rush', 'we need it now', 'it's due tomorrow.'
I have cancelled appointment upon appointment because I am stuck with looming deadlines, panic, and dread of not completing the ever changing, so never completed projects.

I really need to make decisions.
Everything I read says take the plunge. Go with your gut. The things you want are on their way.

Plus, I would just like to have time to sweep the floors and walk outside lately.

To jump or not.

Thursday, 3 August 2017

Weird Eats

I think I am transitioning to a mostly vegan eating style.
I say mostly because I still have a little dairy, honey, and often don't realize what some things contain until after I have eaten them.

I told you I've been highly emotional and sensitive.
This is part of it I guess.
I also find I am having weird cravings.


This is grits with sauteed kale and seasonings.

Chickpeas, carrots, tomato, jalapeno, kale and salsa and a little nutritional yeast.
I ate some on a green hatch chile tortilla.

I was hungry obviously.
This is a Beast Burger from Beyond Meat with a slice of melted Daiya Cheese over greens, tomatos, a little pickle.
I made a 'dressing' from Veganaise and whole grain mustard.
I know it looks gross, but it actually was super tasty.

And I know it seems carb heavy, but I've actually lost pounds...
and have been going to the gym less.
Honestly, I have lost a ton of motivation for lifting right now.
I have found that I am enjoying trying to jump rope more than a minute at a time, and I am enjoying the outdoors because before I know it, winter will be here again.

Tuesday, 1 August 2017

Learning hard lessons and hiking

More overly, broken trust from people you have trusted and confided in for years.
Has this happened to you?
I'm having a hard time, feeling, accepting, and letting it go and pass.
In "The Art of Happiness", the Dhali Lama says we feel anger and betrayal because we take things too personally instead of anyalyzing all sides and aspects, even presumed aspects and thinking rationally about it.
Believe me, I am trying to do that, but I still hold resentment.
And I admit, I take everything personally.

But it's been happening more frequently.
Lessons learned.
Perhaps it's because I just shouldn't have a vent session, and just maybe it's teaching me to keep my yap shut all of the time.
That's what journals are for, right?

See, I like my blog.
No one really reads it, which means I don't get comments.
This is why I post so much random rambling.

Now, for some fun stuff.
On outings, we've been passing lots of the Fourteeners.
I admit, they've caught my attention.
A teeny part of me keeps asking, "Why not?"
The larger part of me answers.
"Because you get winded climbing up the hill the three blocks to get your mail."
"Because when you have tried minor mountain hikes, you slip, fall, and gasp for air like you just ran an eight minute mile."
However, it hasn't stopped me from doing a few internet searches about the different ones around Colorado. IF I were to attempt one, I have not doubt it would be next year.
Even then, I doubt it.
Maybe I could just find some nice easy hikes for the old lady who kind of wants to give it a go.
Gosh knows, there's allegedly enough of them around.