Thursday, 31 December 2015

What's coming for 2016?

I am ready to welcome 2016!
I have to say that 2015 is ending a little sourly.
Besides dealing with grief and other family crisis, I came down with crud on Christmas night that knocked me down hard.
Needless to say, no matter how much I tried to do a cootie control, hubs caught it too.
Being sick a few times this year, made me realize that this past year I have not been taking care of myself as well as I have in the past.
I am still coughing, blowing my nose, and talking as though I am under water.
Obviously, there has been no gym since Christmas Eve.
Not much eating either, comes with the territory of the funk.

I am dubbing 2016 my year of improving myself.
That's what I really want every year, just to make myself better than the last year.
Added to that, I am hoping to take you along on the journey with me.
I will subject you to my endless rambling, food logs, workout logs, recipes, fun workout clothes, tons of selfies in my chonies. However, I won't be limiting the blog just to fitness.
You will get my crazy, silly posts too.
I am currently working on a third smut novel, and I still play work (I use that term loosely) with other Indie Authors.
Geez, that is just fun, and I will probably never give that up just for our ludicrous conversations alone! Besides, it's amazingly motivating to go through the creative process with other artistic and imaginative individuals.
Oh and there will still be red lips and ass to look forward to as well.

I want to help people when I am able.
I would like to not only improve my outside, but transform my inside into a better being as well.
I also just would like to make people smile and laugh, mainly because I love to smile and laugh.
It's part of me.
So, yeah, spread some joy *points* This is on my list too.
On New Year's Day (tomorrow), I plan on posting a current chonie shot.
Be prepared for cottage cheese, lumps, bumps, and glowing white skin.
Don't say that I didn't warn you.

Tuesday, 29 December 2015


In the quest to regain my control and get back on track, it's been food prep and experimentation time. Since I am in the off season, I get to play a little more.
Pulled out the old Clean Eating magazines, some old M&F Hers and have been browsing.
Of course, there's always the vortex of pinterest.
I found this intriguing little number on pinterest.
Now, I wouldn't eat these everyday or anything, but on the weekend or switch things up, oh yeah!
I mean I love my protein pancakes I make with my eggs, oats and cinnamon, but variety is great.
This recipe is from
Amy's Healthy Baking Blog.

I did tweak the recipe to fit my needs, and I mention my changes below.
Banana Breakfast Cheesecakes
I mean, how could you not love that?
I did switch out the honey and used packets of stevia instead.
I also was out of applesauce, so I used 2 T unsweetened vanilla almond milk.
I also added a little cinnamon to my ground oats (I used old fashioned oats, not quick oats)
All in all, they came out yummy.
An added bonus? My serving size was both!
Yeah, because I gets more food than the average Jane.

Banana Breakfast Cheesecakes
Yield: 2 cheesecakes
Serving Size: 1 cheesecake
Banana Breakfast Cheesecakes
These creamy cheesecakes are bursting with banana flavor! The recipe can easily be doubled or tripled too. Store the cheesecakes wrapped tightly in plastic wrap in the refrigerator until ready to eat. Do not reheat.

¼ c instant (quick-cook) oats
2 tbsp unsweetened applesauce
6 oz fat-free cream cheese, softened
1 tbsp honey
¼ c mashed banana
½ tsp cornstarch
¼ tsp vanilla extract

  1. Preheat the oven to 300°F, and lightly coat 2 jumbo-sized muffin cups with nonstick cooking spray.
  2. In a small bowl, stir together the oats and applesauce. Divide the mixture in half, and press into the bottoms of the prepared muffin cups. Bake at 300°F for 8 minutes. Cool in the pan.
  3. In a medium bowl, cream together the cream cheese and honey until smooth. Mix in the banana, cornstarch, and vanilla. Spread the filling on top of the cool crusts. Bake at 300°F for 19-22 minutes, or until the centers still jiggle slightly when the pan is gently shaken. Cool to room temperature in the pan before covering with plastic wrap. Refrigerate at least 3 hours before serving.
Note: To make your own instant oats, add the same amount of old-fashioned oats to a food processor and pulse 5-8 times until coarse. Gluten-free oats may be used to create gluten-free cheesecakes.

(as per the stated recipe, not my tweaked version)

Friday, 25 December 2015

Merry Christmas!

From our home to yours!
May your day be filled with love, laughter, good food, and fun!

We began our day as we always do.
Hubs made coffee, started the fire, and I made beignets.
Yes, fried dough covered in powdered sugar.

Hubs snapped a picture of me stuffing my face.

I also made a chicken liver pate and some spent grain bread to smear it on.
We have an array of cheeses, smoked salmon, fruit, nuts and crackers.
Later, I will break down the rabbit and make a Cajun rabbit stew for dinner.
Yep, we're eccentric.

Notice, today, yes, I am splurging big time.
There will also be some bottles of cabernet popped later today too.
Enjoy your food and festivities!

Sneak peek at what's coming:
As I've mentioned in the past, I get approached about diet, exercise, and so much more.
Many people cannot splurge on the trainers, meal plans, programs, and even some of the proteins that I would normally eat during competition season.
I have been testing recipes, and am finding fun inexpensive, healthy meals to share.
I have been experimenting with workouts and exercises that you can do at home.
So be on the lookout, I am going to unveil and help you throughout next year to get in shape, maintain, and be healthy when you're on a budget.
I believe everyone should be able to stay fab and not spend a fortune!

Sunday, 20 December 2015

Butts, Booty, Bums...Dat Ass

If you have followed for any period of time, you know I am obsessed with asses and abs, on both genders. I strive for both.
I've had both.
I will not lie though, it was a bitch getting there and keeping it.
It's the dietary portion that kills me.

Note: None of these bums are mine, until the end.

You know, even when I was in the best shape, I still had a 'watery' look, or a little jiggle in my rear and thighs. I was able to get rid of my cellulite though.
Dietary = no dairy. no alcohol. no processed sugars. tons & tons of green vegetables. lean proteins. complex carbs. water. water. water.

I won't lie to you. I absolutely LOVED when I was in that shape.
I also love being able to hang with friends in the summer, have a few cocktails, CHEESE, some beans and rice, some fried shrimp, CHEESE, wine, and did I mention CHEESE?
Which probably explains the cheese on mine.

But a huge part of me still wants this.
So, I am striving to find the balance.
I know I probably will never be one of those people who never indulge.
I can do it a year or so, but I miss it.
Then, I go nuts and binge.

This coming year, I am working on balancing it all.
That is my goal: improving myself, in all aspects.
(I plan a full post on that, well, on New Year's, lol.)
I am thinking of skipping competing again this year.
When I calculate the costs, I can do a few fun trips home and to visit other friends for that money I would be spending on competing.

I am thinking of keeping track here: my workouts, my meals, my splurges - being a selfie slut.

Perhaps on New Year's Day, I will grace you with my current situation (i.e. my cellulite and lumps and bumps), my thoughts on how I plan on tackling summer of the bikini, eating plans and recipes, and how to fit in the fun splurges with friends. 

And I plan on keeping up my red, or colored lips, this year too.
Having lipstick on makes me feel fancy - even in my gym wear.
Now I understand why my grandmother never left the house without at least her hair and lips on!

Now, these two are old pics.
Yeah, I no longer look like that.
Don't worry, I don't think I look like Jabba the Hut yet. I just am a little squishy.
The husband doesn't complain because I can, as he says, make the butt clap with the extra cushion for the pushing.
So, it's all good. I would just rather it be better.

I guess this post is fair warning of some of what is to come in 2016.

Saturday, 19 December 2015

Random: Weird Christmas Ornaments and When I have too much time...

I think I am out of Grinch mode.
Though, I still have a few more cards to make out.
I still have not bought all of the gifts.
Oh well, Extended Christmas!

I pulled out the glass ornaments this year.
S put up our bigger pre-lit fake tree.
I love our random weird ornaments.
We bought these two the last time we both went home to New Orleans together.

I will say that the holiday makes me want to cook and eat all sorts of decadent foods.
And you know what?
I do.
I eat it.
I make it.
I eat more.
It's Christmas, and I just do it.
I enjoy it, and I will not feel guilty about it.

When I have too much time on my hands and I get antsy, I tend to do things to my hair.
Yep, that happened again.
Though, this time it was not as dramatic as other times in the past.
Nope, this time, I don't think it came out horribly.
Scissors and me.

And you get to see my glamorous, flannel froggie pj's.

Thursday, 17 December 2015

Throwback Thursday...

I posted this on December 3rd, 2012.

It seems it was on of my more popular posts, in the top 10 being viewed.

I thought I would pull it up and let you new followers read.

Seems I ranted a little, however, I still agree about making time if you really want something. It may mean giving up one thing to replace it with a new activity...but that's just my opinion.

LaPetiteMort (LPM): Squats of Christmas and Calling Folks on their B.S.

Wednesday, 16 December 2015


That time of year is coming.
New Year's Resolutions.
So many will vow to get in shape, eat better, change a lifestyle habit.
This is great, but then we get frustrated and just give up if our expectations of change don't happen quick enough. What I am suggesting is showing yourself a little self love along the journey.
Love your curves as they are while you travel to transform.

Appreciate that your body does so much for you.

Think about it this way, if this is one of your goals.
You are deciding to treat your body better.
You are going to give it nutrition to keep it healthy and fight sickness throughout the year.
You will become more active to keep your muscles strong, and lift a few weights to keep your bones dense to support you in later years.
You are giving yourself the gift of a longer life and more energy, better sleep, and even a better sex life. (If you want to read about how fitness increases libido and enhances your sex life click here.)

I can guarantee you that for a woman that you view as perfect, she finds flaws in herself all of the time. 
Isn't that a shame?
And I bet you that there is a woman who sees you and thinks that you are her ideal body type.
Think about that every time that you put yourself down.

I myself strive for an athletic look.
Maybe you want to keep your curves but just want to have more energy and become a little healthier.
I am for everyone being comfortable in their skin.

So where ever you see yourself next year, love you all along the way.

We are all fucking beautiful. 


As a little added portion, I want to link you to a treat recipe that I previously posted. They are easy peasy, and I enjoy them as one of my meals.
For this recipe I used Dymatize Iso-100 protein powder.
Maybe give you a little inspiration for some new meal plan ideas?

Sunday, 13 December 2015

No Nonsense - Freebie

I am often approached for advice and suggestions from many ladies about diet and exercise programs. More often than not, these people do not want to spend tons of money, and I don't blame them. I know what it costs to compete, and those costs tend to go up every year.

Also, I know that these ladies usually are not looking to begin competing either.
They just want to get to a place that makes them comfortable with themselves.
Who doesn't?

I thought that I would begin sharing with you all of the things that I share with them, and where to find free plans, samples, magazines, etc.

I was first introduced to Beverly International products at my old gym in the town we moved from this year. They are a high quality, highly respected source of supplementation.
Granted, I have only used their UMP Protein powder, but it is one of the best ones that I have tasted out there.
Now, this isn't the reason that I give this website to the ladies - which it is also great for men as well.
This is the reason.

(current issue)

Beverly's site is highly informative, containing recipes, articles and so much more.
Even better?
You can sign up for FREE for their No Nonsense magazine, which is issued quarterly.
I've received it for two years now.
It is chock full of athletes, their diet plans, exercise plans, recipes, stories, and of course, information on Beverly.
However, I find it even better in quantity and quality than many mainstream magazines out there selling for $5 and up.

And when you signup, you are given the heads up on private sales of their products as well.
You seriously can't beat that.

And you may even give their UMP a try.
It's in my Top 2 of Protein Powders.

Thursday, 10 December 2015

All over the place post!

This photo made me laugh out loud today.

I have been traveling, unfortunately not for fun.
There wasn't much sleeping, and hardly any eating each day, grabbing whatever was offered, lol.
So needless to workouts either.
But along with the hard, there were even more pleasant experiences.
I was able to visit and reconnect with family I have not seen in forever.

I arrived back in Colorado late Tuesday night.
I was exhausted and starving.
The husband brought me to a nice restaurant.
I ate my fill and was sleepy on the last leg of the ride home.

However, he was a busy little elf.
When we pulled into our property, multi-colored lights beckoned from the front window.
In his own way, he had begun the Christmas decorating in the living room.
All of our stockings, including the pups', were hung.
He had strung some lights along the curtain rods too.
He also bought a big bouquet of flowers and had them waiting in a vase.
Not only that, he had gone grocery shopping stocking up the fridge with all of my proteins and greens. What a welcome back!

I must admit, he poured me a nightcap after I showered and was all comfy in my jammies.
I took a sip and passed out on the sofa.

I have told everyone that Christmas will be late from me. I have not even begun to shop, nor bought cards yet. At least now, though, I am in the spirit.

Yesterday, I got up and started my normal routine again.
I am down in weight, not where I want to be yet, but closer.
I have noticed that I am not as lumpy as I was last month.
So, I say YaY!

I have been implementing HIIT for cardio.
Shorter sessions, but oh my gosh, I can feel it.
I have also been changing some of my constant weight lifting exercises, trying out some that I have not tried before or have not done in years.
I am still aiming for the year of prancing around in a bikini next year.
I have visions of finally peeling off this layers and people being, "DAMN!"
Shallow, but I don't care, lol. 

This is just funny.

As a side note, I am one of those phases questioning my path in life.
But that's life isn't it?
I want to do more for others, be happy in a career.

Let's face it, my books are a fun hobby.
Do I wish that I could make a living just doing that?
Well, of course!
Maybe if I wish on a star, burn some candles, and do a little juju?
It would be nice to be the Queen of Smut Lit!


At least I know that I have control over one of my goals...
a killer booty like this!

Monday, 30 November 2015

Thankful again.

Now, I'm not so sure about that, but today it sure seems like it.
Let's just say that there have been some difficult life happenings raining down on the family.
Today, especially, is a rough day.
The next week will be as well.
Really, only family is in the know.

However, today, I have been graced with messages and phone calls from friends who have no clue that I may have needed a little cheering up.
Random, but so welcome.
These calls and messages have kept my mind busy, relieved some anxiety, and just have made me smile.

I am thankful for these people who somehow just knew that today was a good day to chat with me.

Also, I cherish those in my life.
I may not always show it, but every single person, whether we talk daily or once every six months, means a mountain to me. I have to begin making the time to let them know.
I want to make sure that everyone knows that they hold a special place in my heart.
In the next week, I will be seeing family that I have not seen in years.
Wrong of me, but it happens.
We get busy.
We put things off.
We think there will always be enough time.

If you will, hug a loved one, or even a liked one.
Everyone is special.
And appreciated.

Thursday, 26 November 2015

Thankful and Grateful

I am.
I am thankful that I have the ability to move, to walk, to write, to do almost anything that I set my mind to if I desire it.
I am grateful for those around me who put up with my insanity, my ramblings, my filthy mouth and writings, my drunken texts and messages, my complaining, and so much more.
I am grateful for my sore body when I workout.
I am thankful to have been provided tools by a magnificent coach - who I should keep in better touch with and utilize and make appointments with.
I should make the choice to follow these tools and plans all of the time, lol.

I am grateful that if I put my mind back to it, I can achieve the aesthetic that I had last year and could maintain it. I made some bad choices. I am grateful that I have choices.

I am thankful and grateful for a partner who accepts me for who I am, faults, craziness, exhibitionism, and all. He does not judge me or throw my faults and failures in my face.
He makes me laugh when I'm blue.
He dances with me in the aisles of the grocery store to muzak, doesn't matter who is around us.
He's a good guy. 

I guess I just wanted to announce my thanks this year.

Thursday, 19 November 2015

Taking it to the snow...

It's been cold.
It's snowed.
My boy there has had too much pent up energy and been destroying things in the house.
I took him with me to the gym, then to run a few errands.
Since I was out, I decided to detour by one of the open spaces that usually has mountain biking, hiking, cross country skiing, and just all sorts of options.
I had on my snow boots anyway since I had to wear them to and from the gym.
I let him frolic.
Unfortunately, I gave out before him.
He's strong and quick for a ten year old pup. 
He was a little pissed when I made him turn around to hike back to the car.
Sorry, dude, but mommy doesn't like trudging through where the snow is high enough to keep getting inside my snow boots. I'm not super coordinated either, so I kept slipping on some of the steep areas.
I think Fitbit should give one extra steps or calories for hiking in snow up and down hills in twenty degree weather trying to keep from face planting with a running dog.
But, yeah, I'll do it again and again...because even though all of that sounded like complaining, I had fun.

Sunday, 15 November 2015

Honesty. Self-Love. Self-Hate. Progressing Forward.

I think I am not alone when I say that I have a love/hate relationship with myself.
I have been doing much reflection lately on why have not been reaching my goals and basically self-sabotaging myself after every turn.
I mean, you guys remember when I got this last year, right?
It's an ongoing battle.

I realize that I am doing the negative portions of all of the following statements.

I am also trying to figure out what changed over the past year to have made me not like myself as much as I used to be happy with myself. I do not like being in this mindset.
I do not believe it all has to do with the little bit of weight gain that I have had.
Something is irking me, but I'm not quite sure what it may be.
Well, there is one thing that I never fully dealt with, but that's another story.
Let's just say that I recognize it: the fact that I had one experience that I faced as if it were no big deal when in actuality, it crushed a part of me.
I know that I have allowed it to affect many portions of my life lately, including relationships with friends and family.
It is not their fault or their feelings to deal with either, just mine.
And that's life.

I only share these things with you lately because as much as I used to share the happy, silly, and all that was going well, I don't want anyone who reads this to think that I don't struggle along from time to time. Sometimes, we struggle more than other periods.

So, as I have been reflecting and pondering so much the past few weeks, I know that my old habits have changed. I have become complacent, negative, and have not tried to take steps to change that.
I thought back to the "rituals", if you will, of my daily life last year and the year before.
I have quit all of them.

I used to really enjoy this:
Every morning I used to wake up, make my protein pancakes and coffee. I would get all comfy back in bed with both and peruse pinterest looking at positive quotes. Then, I would pull out my box of colored pencils and write down whatever struck me, a quote, something that I was grateful for, something funny, anything that put a smile on my face. Sometimes I would doodle, and then journal a wee bit. It did not have to be a long diatribe, just whatever was on my mind, be it silly or serious.
For some reason, that always started my day off happy.

So, for today, I have dug out my colored pencils, a journal, and have decided to begin that habit once again. I will food prep too this week. I had fallen back into the rut of not eating much during the day, or grabbing junk when I felt hungry. 

Those are two things I am going to begin again.
Two steps to the path of self-care and trying to love myself again. 
Little steps forward.
That's what we call progress.

Then, I can give you the fun, nerdy, silly posts again that I hope we all enjoy.
Like, perhaps I will break down and give you a 'now' pic, fat ass and all. 

Thursday, 12 November 2015


Don't you think that we all have them?
No matter how big, small, scary, or funny, I believe we all carry little parts of us that will never be revealed throughout our lifetime to anyone but our inner dialogue.
Many like to claim that they are an open book, that they put it all out there.
I somehow cannot believe that.
I do both. I like to say that I put it all out there, and to an extent, do share parts of my life that many would never think of doing so with others. But I know there are so many secrets tucked away in little dark holes within me, that no one will ever know the complete me.

I can't be alone in this thinking.
At times, I would love to spill everything.
Confess all of the parts of me that are faulted, evil, will never be perfect...
And as much at I tout that other peoples' opinions don't matter, I know that I fear being judged.

In part, I do like to put up a barrier between myself and others.
Truly, I never let anyone in too close, deep.
I suppose that is pitiful. I have always kept family, friends, acquaintances at certain distances, never talking about what may be irritating me, haunting me, or afflicting me.
I also know that many of these relationships suffer because of it.

It is nice to think that we could all be honest with each other and not have bonds affected by those truths, feelings, revelations. But we all know that will never happen.

Here lies one reason why I am always hesitant to give advice to people when I am asked.
How can I help you when my own head and feelings are so screwed up at times?
I just hide my crazy better than others.

It's okay though. 
We all do it, don't we?

Monday, 9 November 2015

Crud and complete fitness fails.

Last week I fought the crud.
Fever, body aches, chills, stopped up head.
One morning I thought I felt better, so I hit the gym.
A few hours later, I was down for the count.
Needless to say, last week was a bust.

This weekend, I felt better.
I did not hit the gym, but spent one day moving logs from some trees that we had cut down.
Yesterday, we ran errands and went on our once every three month Wal-mart trip, lol, among other stores. We have a mix store that carries Ag & Tac supplies, farm equipment, rows upon rows of cowboy boots, and of course, clothing. I picked up two new pair of jeans marked down from $80 to $10. Score. Unfortunately, these jeans are a size up from what I normally wear. I guess that I am on a Fitness Fail right now. 

I did go back to the gym today. Before my little bout with the sickness, I still was going five days a week. However, I completely admit that my food has been garbage. Sadly, I know what I need to do and eat. I just don't have the desire to do it. The fall winter mix has given me the blahs. I just want warm, carb-laden, creamy, thick meals. I need a swift kick in the rear. Anyone want to do that?

Monday, 2 November 2015

Fitbit Flex

The husband and I have a wacky tradition.
We both LOVE Halloween. When we were first married he gave me my first Great Pumpkin gift.
The tradition stuck, and every year, we exchange a little Great Pumpkin gift.
Well, usually it's little.
This year, on his own because I have never said that I wanted one, but had heard about them.
He works with people who have them, so he thought I'd like it.
Yep, he got me the fitbit flex.

I have to admit that it's really fun. I find myself checking the app on my phone constantly to see where I am at with steps. I have not yet tried logging in a workout. I should have done it while I was at the gym this morning. Maybe I will go back and log in what I remember, lol.
Anyway, it's really nifty. I added a few friends through facebook, and we can compete with each other...Not that I would do anything like that!
I guess I made this post just to share my newest little gadget.
Hopefully, it is an implement to help keep me on track for my newest shallow goal!

Monday, 26 October 2015

A Good Thing about Cold Weather

You get to layer and cover the fluff!
 I swear the gym was the same temperature as outside, in the 30's.
So, I'm covering now, but hoping to be all sorts of flashy once spring comes!

Sunday, 25 October 2015

Taking it outdoors

God knows, I love Louisiana.
How could I not?
 Born and raised, fabulous food, green, flora and fauna, fresh seafood...
However, I have grown to absolutely love the area in the mountains where we have moved.
Today, we finally began hiking.
I mean, we've taken a ton of scenic drives to see what's around.
We've found tons of parking areas with the signs for parks, trails, forests.
Today, was our first hike since living here.
We took it easy and did not go straight for up the mountain, but a casual incline (even if some were barely wide enough for one person with a rock up one side and drop off on the other, lol).
It was fun. One of our pups totally enjoyed it.
We picnicked.
But, yes, it wiped me up going higher and higher and higher.
I cannot wait to do it more, acclimate my lungs, and try the harder and longer hikes.
So, I give you pictures which does not do any of the landscape justice.

Monday, 19 October 2015

George is Missing

I am in hot pursuit of George.
I've lost him, and I had promised to love him, pet him, squeeze him...
Who is George you ask?
George was my six pack.
No, not a six pack of delicious brew.
That's one of the reasons that George is buried.
It's true.
For those just joining, I am  was a fitness competitor. 
My time in the gym and the lifestyle was part of my inspiration for Ripped & Twisted.
However, the two hot guys falling in love with me and menage situation?
Unfortunately, that is pure fantasy, just FYI.
This year, I have spent far too much time being lazy. Enjoying a little too much party time, and my body has paid for it.
I can only see the top two of poor George.
It's time to live up to my promise and take care of him, rescue him from the fluff that I have buried him under.
So here is a collage of some drool worthy abs for inspiration and just staring at.
Also, I have stuck proof of my own that were once in existence, lol. 
Plus, throwing it out there will help keep me accountable, and who knows, maybe getting back into my disciplined routine will spawn some new stories too.